Top Ten Metal guitar players of all time
1 Randy Rhodes: Ozzie Ozbourne- Phenomenal, Crisp, Technical and Catchy. If you don't own the Ozzie Ozbourne Randy Rhodes Tribute album you may suck my dick now.
2 Angus Young: ACDC- Completely original sound. He plays strait from the cock. Which works out because most of the songs are about fucking groupies. He's also responsible for single handedly ruining the statutory porn appeal of the Catholic School uniform. The first time I saw Brittney Spears in her school uniform I thought, "That dumb cunt is dressed like a man."
3 Eddie Van Halen: VH - It's a shame the same egocentric noodlings that make him such an outstanding guitar player make him the worst band leader I've ever seen. His decision to loose the singer dressed as a hooker and keep the retarded hairdo makes him about as smart as piss. Still, Eruption, Running with the Devil, Jump; they defined a guitar sound. Eddie Van Halen Sounds like Eddie Van Halen.
4 Kirk Hammett:Metallica-Was responsible for the melody that set Metallica apart from the strait speed metal bands that were to follow. Beautiful acoustic sounds broke up hard hitting Hetfield guitar like butter.
5 Dave Murray and Adrian Smith: Iron Maiden-These guys count as one cause as far as I'm concerned it's one harmonizing guitar sound; and it's big big big. Because they are both guitar players and they are both blonde so in case you are at a concert and you have trouble telling them apart Dave slightly resembles the bands mascot Eddie the skull.
6 Zakk Wylde: Black Label Society, Ozzie Ozborne-Two words: hubba hubba
7 Dave Mustaine: Megadeath, Metallica- I just love this guy so much. I feel like he should have a TV show. Something like, "Deep Licks with Dave Mustaine." He could do in depth interviews with in depth solos.
8 Kerry King: Slayer, this guy just brings it and hard. No noodling no nonsense, just pure unadulterated AWESOME. I haven't wet my pant's since I was locked out of my house in fourth grade but if I ever got a chance to talk to this guy, I'd need new shoes.
9 Tony Iommi: Black Sabbath, Sabbath without Ozzie - The reason this guy is so far down the list is that I'm not sure whether he's metal or classic rock. It's the same reason Jimmy Paige isn't on the list. Well, that and the fact that Paige is like the Elephant in the living room. It's like duh. Still I love that Iommi sound. You know a guitar player is great when you can sort of sing the first five bars of instrumentals of any of their song and people know instantly what song your singing. For example: dun dun duh dun duh do do do do do do dun dun dun duh...exactly Iron Man.
10 Dimebag Daryl: RIP
2 Angus Young: ACDC- Completely original sound. He plays strait from the cock. Which works out because most of the songs are about fucking groupies. He's also responsible for single handedly ruining the statutory porn appeal of the Catholic School uniform. The first time I saw Brittney Spears in her school uniform I thought, "That dumb cunt is dressed like a man."
3 Eddie Van Halen: VH - It's a shame the same egocentric noodlings that make him such an outstanding guitar player make him the worst band leader I've ever seen. His decision to loose the singer dressed as a hooker and keep the retarded hairdo makes him about as smart as piss. Still, Eruption, Running with the Devil, Jump; they defined a guitar sound. Eddie Van Halen Sounds like Eddie Van Halen.
4 Kirk Hammett:Metallica-Was responsible for the melody that set Metallica apart from the strait speed metal bands that were to follow. Beautiful acoustic sounds broke up hard hitting Hetfield guitar like butter.
5 Dave Murray and Adrian Smith: Iron Maiden-These guys count as one cause as far as I'm concerned it's one harmonizing guitar sound; and it's big big big. Because they are both guitar players and they are both blonde so in case you are at a concert and you have trouble telling them apart Dave slightly resembles the bands mascot Eddie the skull.
6 Zakk Wylde: Black Label Society, Ozzie Ozborne-Two words: hubba hubba
7 Dave Mustaine: Megadeath, Metallica- I just love this guy so much. I feel like he should have a TV show. Something like, "Deep Licks with Dave Mustaine." He could do in depth interviews with in depth solos.
8 Kerry King: Slayer, this guy just brings it and hard. No noodling no nonsense, just pure unadulterated AWESOME. I haven't wet my pant's since I was locked out of my house in fourth grade but if I ever got a chance to talk to this guy, I'd need new shoes.
9 Tony Iommi: Black Sabbath, Sabbath without Ozzie - The reason this guy is so far down the list is that I'm not sure whether he's metal or classic rock. It's the same reason Jimmy Paige isn't on the list. Well, that and the fact that Paige is like the Elephant in the living room. It's like duh. Still I love that Iommi sound. You know a guitar player is great when you can sort of sing the first five bars of instrumentals of any of their song and people know instantly what song your singing. For example: dun dun duh dun duh do do do do do do dun dun dun duh...exactly Iron Man.
10 Dimebag Daryl: RIP
posted by Mishna Wolff at 4:52 PM
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